Monday, November 28, 2005

The holidays are here!

Another Thanksgiving gone by. We went to Austin as is our tradition. My brothers live there and it's hard for them to get the time off work to come down and see us so we always go there. Max and the limosine of a weiner dog that is Jinx spent the week with Scott and his family up in Waxahachie, Tx. where even the vermin up there carry six-shooters...We got to meet my brother Gilbert's new girlfriend, a pale, befreckled, little thing with flaming red hair and ocean blue eyes. Such a contrast to Gilbert's darker skin, black hair, and dark brown eyes. He seems to be happy and if he's happy then we're all happy.

George still has his dreadlocks which look pretty damn good. At least he keeps his hair clean unlike some thoroughly disgusting, filthy, people I've known in the past with dreds that made me want to take their heads and shove them under a lawnmower. My dad would still like to take a pair of scissors to George's head but mom likes them just fine. The feasting took place at my other brother, Marco, and my sister-in-law Nina's house. Nina and I get along great. We usually get pretty slammed on bottles of white wine and then my little brother Marco has to practically carry both us out of whatever bar we happen to be in if we're out and about. Over the summer we went to this dive called Hanover's in dowtown, historic Pflugerville. The bar should be more aptly named Hangover's. Because that is exactly what we had the next day. But I was sucking down beer like water, knocking back tequila shots, and dancing in circles. I was dizzy.

Thursday night, after the dishes were cleared, the bellys had a chance to repose and work the turkey through the intestines as William S. Burroughs once said was "destined to be shit out of wholesome American guts" Marco, Nina, George, and I went out into the cold night. George and Gilbert were born on Thanksgiving Day 32 years ago. It being their birthdays we wanted to go out and celebrate. But Gilbert was busy with his Irish dumpling and her family so it was just the four of us.

First we went to George's house. It was in a state of shambles only because he's in the process of re-organizing the place after a certain someone moved out. We sat in his room. Got warm and fuzzy. The beer ran cold and as long as a river flowing into the Gulf. Marco and George talking about bicycles, computers, and music. Boys and their toys. Nina and I sitting on George's bed simply fading in and out of the conversation. I read almost the whole Rolling Stone magazine cover to cover especially the hot article on Madonna (the cover of her in that red dress is delecious). We finally leave George's house and head out into a cold, bleak and deserted night. There were hardly any people out on the streets. We go to this one bar that happens to be George's favorite, The Draught House, a German inspired house with a full range of at least 50 beers on tap. We sat outside on the picnic tables. It was pretty chill. It was at this place that George told me he ran into Heather several weeks ago.

There's a name I have not uttered in about four years. She was there with her boyfriend and his friends who happen to be friends with George. What a small damn world it is. George told me how he recognized her, they started talking, she dialed up Scott on her cell phone, and then my brother was talking to my ex-husband on his ex-girlfriend's phone. Oh yeah did I mention the bitch was once my friend? How she was supposed to be loyal to me and stay my friend but instead she went off and screwed my husband? So what if we were seperated at the time? We were still married and what burns my hide is that I once asked Scott if he was attracted to her. He swore to me he wasn't. And Heather swore to me she wasn't going out with Scott. The both of them betrayed me, assholes. And they still keep in touch! Scott doesn't tell me shit about his life anymore. I don't really care but sometimes it still ruffles my feathers.

Heather told George there had been drama. Alot of drama. I don't know how much my brothers know about that whole Heather, Scott, and me period but there's more than I can ever tell them. I only tell my family the half-truths. The parts they need to know. The rest is my carefully guarded secrets. Heather actually had the gall to tell Geroge she missed me. What does she miss? What does she regret? That's what I'd like to find out. I stayed quiet and looked away. I don't want to reminded about that time of my life. I don't want to be reminded of Heather. I never want to see her again. I have no choice with Scott but I should do as he's done with me and just cut him out of my life completely. At least emotionally. I hate to admit that he still has the power to rouse my anger, my hurt, my pain, and my tears. But never again my love. He killed that pretty damn good.

The rest of the Thanksgiving weekend was pretty uneventful. Marco, Nina, and I took a walk along some spooky trail by their house Friday night. I always feel like a third wheel whenever I'm around another couple. I had so hoped that Dave would have been the one to add the fourth wheel to this already tottering cycle I keep finding myself in. But no. He turned out to be just another dog of a man who called me on a Tuesday at midnight probably because the dog got horny and wanted to come lie down with his bitch. Asshole. I didn't bother to answer the phone. He left no message and I have not heard from him since. I am not going to be some asshole's booty call at midnight on a Tuesday or any day.

I had no desire to go back to work this morning. Already I could feel myself being crushed under the enormous weight of feeling like my talents are being wasted in this position I am in. I pray to God every day to deliver me from this job and get me one were I can truly shine. I hope it happens and soon or Max, Jinx, and I will find ourselves back in my parent's house.

Ciao! for now.

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