Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Beach House (9/16/07;wp)

I'm back in the same beach house as last year with my friends and their children. The early morning sun makes my eyes squint; forehead furrow. A shrimp boat out on the glass-surfaced water reflecting the sun, the boat like a painting found in the seashell souvenir shops along The Strand. I listen to the waves. They're saying "We rise and fall but it's more than that. We move through wind, get caught up in the currents, carried along, our liquid selves meshing with the air. We fold up and over and head for the shore. We want to come ashore and spread out over the sand. We're in constant motion not stopping even for a day."

I do enjoy my coffee. Not with milk though but there's nothing for it. No creamer of any kind in this beach house. Kids slathered in sunscreen. A kitchen full of food I can't eat. But it's so worth it because my friends' husbands tell me I look great. So I think giving up all the food I like to eat to get a spectacular body is well worth the sacrifice. Hmm...maybe that's what my sonnet should be about. All the food I love but can no longer have.

Cheese: Gouda, Parmesan, asiago, bleu, all the rank smelly cheeses out at Central Market

Bread: Big, doughy, loaves soaked in olive oil mixed with spices

Crackers: Ritz, Saltines, Wheat Thins, Goldfish, Cheeze Nips, Triscuits with slices of ham, Colby Jack cheese, and olives with garlic in the pits

Chips: Pringles, the whole can, sour cream 'n' onion, bbq, salt & vinegar, habanero, jalapeno, so much salt on my tongue, splitting it open with fissures like the earth after an earthquake, my lips cracking apart, not bleeding only because I saturate them in lip balm

Eggs I can eat but not the way Johnny is eating them, baked in a dish with cheese, cream, sausage, and picante sauce smothering the top. Ah, I miss all that heavy food but heavy on the outside turns me heavy inside and out. The salt fills my cells and makes them expand pushing out all ridges, rolls, and my flesh hangs and jiggles. But with light food my body becomes light. The flesh shrinking, the curves becoming rounded, and soft. Not bulging and bulky.

Cake: dough turned black with chocolate and the sugar icing coating the top

Cookies: chocolate chip, macadamia nut, snicker doodle, cinnamon

Pie: cherry, apple, blueberry, lattice pies with that delicious crust

Nuts: pistachios, pecans, almonds, peanuts, cashews, especially peanuts in a bowl with Tabasco sauce and lemon juice. Eating the whole bowl, my lips, tongue, and throat on fire. If I let that happen then the oils in the peanuts would act like a catalyst to produce the oils in my face. Bursting, like tiny oil wells, all the acne ruining my face. No, that will never happen.

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