This week I have decided to pursue the man of my dreams. In order to do this I must travel to the enchanted oasis that can be found in the high deserts of the west and look for him at the golden pyramid. I first laid eyes on him 14 years ago and recently saw him again. He has not changed one bit. He still wears an all black suit and is painted blue. That's right. I want to be the wife of a Blue Man.
Obviously there will be some kinks to iron out. I mean when you're the wife of a Blue Man you have to put up with certain things. Such as him not talking with words but spraying day-glo colors out of his mouth when he wants to communicate. I'll have to get used to paint, gobs of marshmellow, and crushed Captain Crunch all over the floors of the house. Not to mention put up with bedsheets permanently stained blue. Oh, yes and the pantry must always be stocked with Twinkies, vanilla pudding, and gumballs. Not much of a diet, I admit. And the furniture will be all PVC pipe...hmmm...not very fashionable either, but the payoff is being married to a delicious blend of performance art and high tech music. I can do this.
"Honey, what to do you want for dinner tonight?"
Blue Man: orange streak of paint sprays across the table.
"Gumballs gain? Why can't we go out for dinner?"
Blue Man: red streak of paint splattered on the couch.
"What do you mean you don't like people staring at you? You are a Blue Man. It's part of the package."
Blue Man: yellow streaks down his cheeks.
"But, darling, don't you love your job?"
Blue Man: yellow streams of pudding exploding from his chest.
"What will you do then?"
Blue Man: marshmellows dribble out of his mouth.
"Ice-cream vendor? after all these years of performing? And you want to be an ice-cream vendor? Are you mad? What will people think of you then? Washed out Blue Man! That's what. No, this is just a slump you're going through. You'll get over it. So, about dinner?"
Blue Man: Gets up, spins a small canvas, streaks of red, orange, and yellow form perfect circles with just a bit of spatter patterns.
"That's my big Blue Man. I love you darling. Kiss me."
Blue Man and Wife: blue greasy paint smeared all over both faces.